Insulting people maybe a very bad habit but to be honest each one of us has a little baby residing in our body who just loves to use funny one liners to insult people as a revenge. It might totally be against your etiquette but you DO know a couple of snappy words or pick up lines to throw where you do not want to be polite. And for this, English language is very well equipped. Though the modern insults may get a little too much and too profane but the vintage language was soft. The language previously used to be so charming that even the insults were very polite and actually funny.

Here’s a rundown on some of the wittiest and funny medieval insults that you should totally add to your burn book.

Plague sore

This is short insult has all the capacity in the world to pack a hard punch. This could be used for the people who are too much irritatingly adhesive. Or you could also secretly name your irksome boss as ‘plague sore’.


Thou elvish-mark’d, abortive, rooting hog!



This is my favorite and just the kind to leave an extremely sick burn. Instead of using a small modern explicit term to embarrass or insult your friend, say this hard hitting phrase and leave no room for them for a comeback.



No. It does not mean a resident of some newly discovered planet. Grumbletonian is someone who is always found nagging and grumbling. These people are specific complainants of politics. You know you got a word when the next time you see someone crying about mehengai and siyasat.


Thou dost infest my eyes!

Ouu. This looks pretty much intense but serves as a good insult. It was basically used by Shakespeare in his novel Richard III which goes, ’Out of my sight! Thou dost infest my eyes!’ It has to be the perfect arm to keep cancers and irritating folks away. I mean I swear I am not teaching you to be offensive but you could use it against.. umm..enemies?!

All my eye and Betty Martin! 

This phrase is used as a way to sack people while they are blurting out nonsense. So now when a friend talks nonsense shout out loud, ’All my eye and Betty Martin’ and burst their bubble. And also, I have no idea who is this Betty Martin and the internet too couldn’t help me in this regard.


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